Working on your Self Care Mindset

When you’re setting yourself up to start focusing on self care each and every day it will be important to get your mindset right.  Just like with anything else, your mindset will determine your outcome. It is easy for me to tell you to spend 5 minutes on self care every day, but unless you have your mind right, it doesn’t guarantee your success. 

The problem

As busy moms, there’s so much to do every day, so many people relying on you, and people that need you 24/7. Rarely will you find yourself with nothing to do besides focus on yourself.  Kidless vacations laying on the beach get turned into family vacations, aka dealing with your kids in another city without their usual routine. There is just less time, in general, to really focus on renewing yourself and to reconnect with who you are deep down. 

We tend to take on more than we should, even some things we don’t particularly want to do. We strive for perfection in all areas of our lives, even when it means running ourselves ragged.  How many times this month have you worked through exhaustion, or stayed up to get those last toys picked up? Did running yourself to fumes give you something you were missing? Or did it keep you from something? 

When you’re fighting to get in a self care mindset you need to really spend time focusing on not only doing all of the things you have to do but also consider your needs.  If you’re on fumes, exhausted, and ready to crash, maybe the dishes sit overnight, maybe the laundry gets laid flat and waits for morning.  Whatever it is, it can wait for you to take time for yourself.

Working on a self care mindse

One of the biggest struggles when you make the decision to start putting yourself on the list is your mindset.  We see this throughout our lives.  Something we have a proper mindset for we succeed at, and the things we know we need to do, but don’t do them for this or that reason, we struggle with. 

When you think about self care, what feelings do you have towards it? Are you longing for time to yourself, or maybe a date night with your love? No matter your feelings, you need to make sure of a few key things:

  1. It is NEVER selfish to put your needs above other things on your to-do list.  You deserve to take time for yourself. 
  2. You DESERVE this time to work on yourself. 
  3. It’s OKAY to say no to things that don’t bring you joy & don’t serve you or your family
  4. Your self care time should be GUILT FREE
  5. Your family will FLOURISH when you take care of yourself.  

Setting up you self care mindset will take time and practice.  It’s something I strive for and work on each and every day. Remembering the 5 keys above is what stops the guilt when I leave toys on the floor or dishes in the sink to sit and watch a movie with my husband or take a nice long bath.  

Through it all, when you really start working on your own needs and put yourself back on your to-do list, you will notice your mindset change.  You will realize how much better you feel when you do something for yourself. It will also become easier for you to put yourself on the list the more you do it. 

Think about it this way.  Day one of a workout plan is hard, right? Day 2-5 are a struggle but you start feeling better.  Days 6-14 are getting easier, and before you know it, your new routine is a habit. This is the same concept. The more you take care of filling your soul, the easier it will be to continue to fill yourself. 

Making it happen

I know, you’re busy, you’re trying to keep everything moving like clockwork. Your kids are pulling you in different directions, and if you don’t keep up on housework it turns into chaos in no time flat.   I get it, my life is like that as well.  It is a constant struggle between making sure things are done and really making time to take care of myself. 

It came down to me realizing that I was floundering and felt like I had lost myself.  I felt like the woman I was before I was a mother was completely lost and all I could do is deal with this new me. It was as if I was mourning the loss of my former self. 

What I realized though, I wasn’t mourning the loss of who I was before.  I was missing the time I could spend on myself, as well as missing the things that make me the woman I am. 

For example,  I love to read. Before having my daughter it would be nothing for me to read a book in a day. I always had a book with me and every night I would read until I just couldn’t stay awake anymore.  After my daughter was born that part of me didn’t change.  I still love to read. Now I just can’t take 8 hours and read a whole book. Someone else needs me now and I have other responsibilities. 

When it is something you want to add to your life, and it brings joy & benefits you, then why not go for it full speed? Yes, generally you will probably have to give up something else. As I said earlier, one of the best things you can do is start saying no to the things that don’t work for you or your family. 

Mindset Matters

Make it your mission, your goal, and your life to make sure that you and your needs are met. Not just barely managed, but that you really take care of the things you need to feel your most fulfilled.  You will never regret spending time on yourself, you will only regret losing yourself in motherhood. 

Find some affirmations that inspire you and remind you to keep yourself going. Write them down and put them in a prominent place or places.  Keep them in a note or picture on your phone, so you can look at them. Read them and recite them, even if it doesn’t feel like truth, recite them enough and you will start to believe them. 

Get your mind right and the rest will follow. 

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