The Easiest Way to be the Best Mom You Can Be
If you’ve been around my blog much, you’ll already know my answer to this. There is one easy answer. In order to be the best mom you can be, you need to take some time to make sure that your self-care is in order.
It is impossible to never focus on yourself and be a rockstar mom. It cannot happen. You know that feeling of being completely worn down and exhausted. We are moms, we generally feel exhausted by the end of the day, but we make it so much harder on ourselves when we neglect to really take care of ourselves.
You cannot be the best mom you can possibly be and not do things for yourself. It’s impossible. If you’re not already feeling worn down, you will eventually.
I get it, some of us really thrive on doing for others. It’s our love language, and that is fantastic! Even still, you need to make sure you’re putting yourself on the list. You are the most important piece of the puzzle. Taking a few minutes to make sure that you’re in the best possible headspace is paramount to you being the best mom you can be.
Taking ‘me time’ as a mom
Look, I get it. Self-Care and taking a few moments of ‘me time’ is so difficult for moms. We have it ingrained in our minds that we are supposed to be this June Cleaver mom who always smiles, never yells or loses her cool. When in reality, June Cleaver is a fictional character for a reason.
You cannot go through motherhood focusing completely on your family and neglecting yourself. There has to be a balance.
I am in a lot of Facebook mom groups, and I see so many moms who are burned out and they complain about losing sight of who they are beyond motherhood. They don’t know what to do for themselves, because they feel guilty or they just lost who they were. They focused so much on being a mom that motherhood became their only identity.
I always feel so horrible for these women, and usually, give them a shorter answer than this, but one that contains the same love and advise.
You have to take care of yourself first! There is no way around it. When you make sure your needs are met, then you are free to give your attention, love, and dedication to your children without hesitation. You might even find yourself in a better mood, less aggravated, and doing more with your kids. Make sure the kids are good first, I’m not saying to neglect their needs for your own, but once they’re set, do something for yourself.
Drop your excuses
“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have XYZ”
Yeah, I don’t know your exact situation, but one thing I know is you still need and deserve to do things that serve your soul. These are the things that fill you up so you can continue on. It could be putting on nail polish quick one night. Putting on some mascara and lip gloss so you feel more like you. You could take the kids for a walk or let them play outside while you work in the garden.
Find the things that connect you to who you are at your core. These are the most valuable things to be doing. These aren’t necessarily things that will cost you money. Don’t let money be your excuse. I wrote a post with 36 free self-care ideas, in case you need some inspiration. You need to find things that ignite your passions. These are things we should be doing most often.
While we would all love a day at the spa or a vacation in Tahiti, for most of us, we need to do a little something daily. So go ahead and plan your vacation and spa visits when you can, but in the meantime, find something you can do daily.
You deserve to be the best mom
Motherhood is so hard. The constant need to take care of our children might change through the years, but they still need us there to guide them, teach them, play with them, and love them. The job is nonstop on most days. Yet, the need to take care of yourself never goes away either.
There are times when I get so wrapped up in the day to day things that I start to forget about my self-care, and then I start noticing that I am not being the best possible mother. I have a short temper, I’m not motivated to do anything. It is at those times that I realize that I have been neglecting myself and my needs. To fix it all I have to do is spend a few moments on myself.
When I need a quick pick-me-up, my favorite thing to do is grab my headphones, slip one earbud in, and crank some music. I’m kind of looking forward to when Little Miss starts school because I will be able to have more time to dance around to my favorite music as I clean. For me, it’s the perfect way to recharge my batteries while I get housework done.
As I talked about above, your daily self-care doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Just see where you can add in something to what you’re already doing. Listen to a podcast in the car, spend a few moments putting on a bit of makeup, grab something for yourself at the gas station. Whatever you do, make it intentional and make it count.
What are you showing your kids?
One thing I always think about is the example I am setting for my daughter. I show her that a mom can take care of herself and be a good mom. She can watch me work on my blog and maintain the household.
Ideally, she will grow up to know to value herself. She will grow up knowing ways to take care of herself because she can watch her mom. There is a viral Facebook post about making sure our little ones take time to relax and self-care that I love. That is absolutely something I try to do with Little Miss. I want her to know the value of self-care and that sometimes just taking a break to focus on yourself can change your outlook.
Just like how we model proper eating or exercise to our children, we should also be modeling other ways to care for ourselves. Now that Little Miss is getting older and understanding emotions better, I tell her that mommy is cranky and needs just a couple minutes to feel better. When she gets cranky, I then ask her if she needs a couple of minutes alone to feel better. Sometimes she wants to snuggle, others she wants to go to her room for a few minutes to relax.
I also want to be the model for when she maybe one day becomes a mother herself. She will be able to think back to what I did and how I balanced everything, sometimes not too gracefully.
If you are ready to change your self-care routine, give it an overhaul, and come up with a plan that you can stick to, then the Self-Care Reboot is here for you. The self-care reboot is the ultimate guide to setting up your routine to make the most of your time, giving yourself the guaranteed time to focus on self-care.
We are all great at making up excuses as to why we are too busy, but I have yet to find anyone who can’t find a 5-10 (or more) minute window in each day. Changing your mindset on self-care is part of the key. When you want to make it happen you can do it.
Want to know more about the Self-Care Reboot? Check out the link below.