Struggling through this season of motherhood
Struggling through motherhood and embracing the season you’re in.
So often we are told about the “seasons of motherhood” and how we should embrace these times because they are short, but often the days feel like an eternity.
We all know to enjoy these times with our kids because we can never get them back. After they pass, we can look back and see the good in that time, but sometimes in the thick of things, you wish for the time to pass faster.
Yeah, I’m that mom. My peanut is closing in on 2 years, she is beautiful, spunky, strong willed, and smart. She learns new words all the time and doesn’t act like a “baby” anymore.
The season of a beginning toddler
The season we are in right now involves being clingy to Momma and Dada. It involves screaming and crying fits when redirected from something she shouldn’t be doing. It also involves a struggle for independence.
I know many moms can identify with this. It’s such a cross between wanting to be big and independent, while also holding onto those more baby needs, like snuggling up in order to take a nap.
This season of motherhood is exhausting in a completely different way than the baby season.
By bedtime my temper is short. I am just ready for her to be asleep so I can steal away any little morsel of peace in the few minutes before my husband falls asleep. (Can I say it stinks only getting a few minutes before my husband falls asleep, but I digress)
Each night, as bedtime nears I get a brief moment of joy… maybe tonight will be the night I put her to bed and she stays there. Maybe she won’t need to get up to cuddle 2, 3, or 4 times before she finally passes out.
In the midst of this season, all I want is to put her to bed and have a few small minutes of the day with my husband before he is snoring away. I want these minutes to be kid free.
This is not to imply that I don’t want her around. I absolutely love snuggling her for naps. I love that she needs me in that time, to help her sleep. Yet, at the end of the day, I’m just exhausted. I’m done. I want to relax with my hubby, enjoy some time online, and just recharge so I can tackle tomorrow.
Then the mom guilt sneaks in
I know before I realize she won’t need mommy to help her drift off to sleep. She won’t test every ounce of patience by running away when she knows I’m going to take whatever she has gotten ahold of & shouldn’t have. One day I will wish she would need me as much as she does now.
I feel guilty for wanting those few moments without her. Then I feel guilty for putting her to bed abruptly.
With the guilt, there’s exhaustion from the day. My patience is long gone, any ounce of sanity has left. I realize I am no Mary Poppins I thought I would be when pregnant.
Each season brings its own, new challenges
When we are in the thick of things, feeling as if we are drowning, it can be hard to see how short these seasons are. The sleepless newborn nights feel long and never-ending, but you blink and your baby sleeps through the night. You blink again and they’re crawling. Blink again and they’re walking. Before we know it our kids will be grown.
The seasons and days fly by. Before you know it your baby needs you a little less and less. They start walking, they start using the potty on their own, they start school, they start driving. Throughout their lives, we will always struggle with the current season our kids are in. Just like the seasons of the year though, there is always an end. There are some seasons that are nicer or easier than others, but that doesn’t slow time.
We just have to make it through a short time and before we know it our kids are changing and giving us a whole new set of challenges. There is always an end to the season.
How can I make it through the tough seasons
It can definitely be a struggle, and I only have a toddler, so I cannot talk about anything more than I have lived. With infants and toddlers though, there are some real struggles, and days I wish I could never live again. We know those days when you look at the clock hoping it’s bed time and it’s only 2:30. The days where you sit in the bathroom and have a good cry because facing your kids has become too much.
We know those days when you look at the clock hoping it’s bed time and it’s only 2:30. The days where you sit in the bathroom and have a good cry because facing your kids has become too much. Even the days where you count down the hours until you can save your sanity.
Nobody ever said being a mom was an easy task. Some days are smooth and run like perfect clockwork, but there are some days when you’re basically fighting the current all day and bed time cannot come fast enough.
So how do you make it through those rough days and seasons? Remember that tomorrow is a new day. We all have bad days. We all have days that don’t go how we want. It is only right that our kids have bad days as well. Sometimes we just have to take a few deep breaths and refocus on something else.
One of my favorite ways to make it through any day, but especially on the bad days, is by taking my 5-minute breaks to myself. I work hard to find multiple times a day to take a 5-minute break. This time to work on myself helps me to bring my mood down, and to give me a fresh perspective in which to conquer the day.
To help do this I created an ebook, called The Self Care Journey which is available now, that walks you through 30 days worth of self care that you can plan yourself.
Just click that green link above to get your copy today.