Busting Through the Stay At Home Mom Depression

Being a say at home mom is not all sunshine and rainbows.  It is something that can be incredibly rewarding and wonderful, but in the same breath extremely isolating and lonely.  It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling blah and depressed, especially if you already lean that direction.  Stay at home mom depression or blues are something that every stay at home mom deals with. 

If you talk to other stay at home moms, you will find that everyone deals with these feelings of depression at some point. When your only interaction on a daily basis is with your own kids, no matter how amazing they are, you start to get a little out of it and stir crazy.  Finding your best way to bust through these struggles and find a new normal is paramount to success as a stay at home mom. 

**If you are dealing with symptoms of depression please talk to a medical professional. There is NO shame in having depression, so please find someone to talk to. I am not a medical professional, so this advice may not work for everyone. This post is based upon my experience and the experiences of moms I am friends with. **

Find your mom tribe

One of the easiest ways you can work your way out of the stay at home mom depression or blues is to find moms that get you.  These will most likely be other stay at home moms, they could be women you’ve been friends with for years, or new friends that come along.  Whether you meet them on a Facebook group, at a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group, or at the park is up to you.  Just find other moms out there that understand you and can help you out.

For me, this meant getting even closer to 2 of my friends who have been SAHM’s much longer than I have been.  We text & Snapchat each other daily just to have a laugh about our kids, complain about housework, or just realize that we are not alone in this journey. 

When you find a good community of women that understand the stay at home mom struggle, you will be free to go to them and vent the frustrations that you only know as a stay at home mom. You can ask the questions you need to be answered. Most importantly, you can realize that motherhood takes a village, and you are NOT on an island! 

Get outside!

I struggle with this one all the time, but get outside! When the house is swallowing you and the chores never end. Take a break and go outside! Go to the park, the mall, for a walk, it doesn’t matter, just leave the house. Get into the real world and see some other adults.  

You can feel so alone when you’re inside your house day in and day out. There isn’t much change day to day when you’re stuck inside cleaning up and caring for your kids.  If the weather is nice, get outside and enjoy the day. If you find a MOPS group, go meet up. Just get out of the house. 

It can be difficult to get out around other people if you’re a stay at home mom with no vehicle, especially if you don’t live in an area where you can just walk to where the people are.  (*Raising my hand way way up*) Even playing a game outside in the yard, or walking to our little neighborhood park helps to break through the fog.  

Get away from the kids

Ok, don’t just leave them on their own, that’s NOT what i’m advocating here, but sometimes the best way to break through the blues is to get a sitter, or leave the kids with your spouse and go do something for yourself.  Whether you go walk around target, go visit a friend, visit a salon and get your hair done, or just go have a coffee. Sometimes you just need to get away from a little bit.

I try to get out for a walk with one of my besties at least once a week. I know I’ve mentioned it repeatedly, but it is one of the best things we do. We can talk out issues in our life and vent about motherhood. When we are done we feel 100% better and ready to go home and jump back into motherhood.  There are things each and every walk that has us agreeing because we have been there too. 

Another way that I can easily break out of it, is to go to the store alone.  It’s so simple, but just having some time where nobody is pulling at you or calling you mom can brighten the day. It doesn’t take much to make you feel like a whole person again in times where you’re just feeling isolated.  It can be freeing to talk with adults or to just not have anybody yelling at you to wipe for them. 

Late night date night with yourself

A great way to feel like a whole person again is to focus on yourself.  Let the chores sit for a little bit, and really focus on taking some care of your needs.  Take a bubble bath, put on a face mask, paint  your nails, read a book, watch a movie, bake a cake, really, it doesn’t matter what I tell you do, just do what you need and want. 

Your date night might include your spouse, or maybe it doesn’t but taking a few minutes for yourself is paramount to surviving motherhood. You have heard the phrase, 

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Make sure you take time to fill your cup.

When things get bad

Sometimes it could be possible that things get bad.  Please, don’t hesitate to get help if you feel like being home all day is leading to depression. There is a difference between the blues and a true depression, and these tricks may not help for you if you’re struggling with depression. 

10 Comments

  1. Sarah

    September 28, 2018 at 9:32 pm

    This hit so very close to home. I graduated. Became a teacher and am now a stay at home mom. I litterally just crave adult conversation. It’s something i dont expereance often enough. I really need to branch out but making friends as an adult is just so hard!

    1. Becky Miller

      September 29, 2018 at 11:12 pm

      Sarah, I am SO with you. Making friends can be one of the most difficult parts of being a sahm.

  2. Alexis H.

    September 27, 2018 at 2:36 pm

    I just posted something similar to this! Wonderful Ideas and so many truths Thank you for sharing you ways to push through the blues. It’s hard and sometimes even the best of us get stuck in a runt!

    1. Becky Miller

      September 28, 2018 at 2:26 pm

      It is so different than anything else and can be so isolating at times.

  3. mrsg

    September 27, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    Hi, great write up!!! I write about health and wellness and also have my Master’s in Counseling!!! Another 1st step in addressing depression is making sure you are getting your vitamins and that your physical health is being taken care of!!! Many symptoms of depression can be alleviated if not completely cured by fixing hormonal problems (thyroid, adrenal problems) and ensuring great gastrointestinal health!! Let me know if you want the link to my site!

    1. Becky Miller

      September 28, 2018 at 2:25 pm

      Thank you so much for that! I didn’t want to get into the medical side and be wrong, but I know that I am much better when I’m taking care of my health as well. If you want to send me the link I’d love to check it out.

  4. Yanna

    September 26, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    OMG! I thought staying at home with my kids would be a breeze! This has really been a struggle for the good and bad! I am thankful for the opportunity but I have my lonely days! Thanks for the great read!

    1. Becky Miller

      September 28, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      Thank you so very much Yanna! <3

  5. Felicity J

    September 26, 2018 at 9:28 pm

    Happy I saw this post! I am transitioning to a stay at home mom after working for about 11 years. I will save this post incase I have some SAHM Blues. Thanks for posting!

    1. Becky Miller

      September 28, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      Felicity, I hope you love being a stay at home mom. It is incredibly rewarding but can be a hard transition. I wish you all the best in your new journey.

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