Why You Need to be Passionate About Self Care
Happy Halloween! I can’t believe we are already at this time of year and the holidays are just around the corner. I have many great ideas coming up, but I’m taking a pause from looking at the holidays to talk about something important to me. It was pointed out to me, that I haven’t discussed why I’m passionate about self care.
I have written about my birth story before, but it was an emergency c-section due to preeclampsia. The way my daughter was brought into this world was sudden, unexpected, and not what I thought it would be. When I got home, my blood pressure was still elevated and I was still on a modified bed rest, not allowed to stand for more than 5 minutes.
The images of these ‘super moms’ who came home and could manage to care for their new baby and home were in my head. I could barely stand on my own, couldn’t stand for too long, and was trying to do it all. When you’re stuck on the couch, your daughter won’t nurse (I might write about this someday soon), and your hormones are going crazy postpartum, you start feeling like you’re just treading water.
Sure, I had help, my husband was home for about 3 days, he had just started working at this company a few months prior and didn’t have benefits yet, and my aunt came over to help for about a week. Once I was completely on my own I had the ‘super mom’ image in my mind. I was going to shower daily, have my hair and makeup done daily, the house would be clean… you get the idea.
Setting myself up for failure
Remember that part where I couldn’t stand more than 5 minutes at a time? You can imagine how this went. It’s painful to get up off the couch after attempting to nurse my daughter for the millionth time and failing, hormones are on a roller coaster, and I just couldn’t keep up. No matter what, I just couldn’t keep up with everything I was trying to do.
Sure, my husband and family were there to help me, but I’m not a person who asks for help, so I was trying to live up to my own expectations. When you don’t have time to get things done, where do you cut?
Self Care isn’t Selfish
It’s easiest to say well, I don’t need to paint my nails/ take a shower/ put on makeup/ do my hair all up etc. It’s not easy to look at a mess surrounding you and know that you need to put on music and draw or read a book.
When you have images in your mind of the ‘perfect mom’ you’re going to be, it can be hard to balance all that with making sure that your own needs are met.
We get so wrapped up in making things perfect that we allow our own needs to go unmet.
As time goes along we forget what it’s like when we used to take time to do things for ourselves. All of a sudden, there is a stigma of selfishness to doing anything related to self care. Like once we become mother’s we don’t need to do things that fulfill our needs or bring us back to who we were before becoming a mom. It’s easiest for us to push our own things off until we are so run down that we can barely function.
This stigma of taking time for self care as being selfish needs to go away! There is no shame or selfishness in doing something for yourself so that you can take better care of your family. As the saying goes, you can’t pour out of an empty cup. Unless you’re filling your cup, by doing things that fill your heart, you will eventually run out of steam. You cannot go on forever without doing something to fill your cup back up.
If you think about it, what happens when your cup runs dry? When you’re beyond exhausted, possibly depressed, unable to really be there for your family. When this happens it is impossible to be the best mom you can be. If a simple 5 minutes each day can just top off your cup again isn’t it worth it?
I’m Here to Tell You
I was that mom who one day hit a wall, I couldn’t function anymore and all I wanted to do was feel like I did before having my daughter. I longed for that connection SO much. Not necessarily the carefree person I was, but that feeling of my heart’s needs being met. There is NO shame in needing a few minutes to do your makeup, hair, nails, reading, knitting, or whatever it is that you need to do to feel your best.
Being the best possible mom you can be, means that you need to be the best possible YOU that you can be. You can’t be the best version of yourself if you completely lose everything about yourself to motherhood.
Eventually, your kids will be grown, and they won’t need all of your attention all of the time. At that point, if you’ve lost yourself to motherhood, what will you do? I think that in taking time for myself and doing so in front of my daughter I am giving her an example of how I balance my own needs with being a mommy. She is only 2, she doesn’t see it yet, but as she grows I hope she sees me practicing self care and puts it into practice in her own life.
Passionate About Self Care
I don’t want to have to rediscover my interests after my children are grown, I want to balance motherhood and my interests. I want to show them that they can do both. Your hobbies and passions don’t go away the day you give birth. Sure, they might not be a top priority, but there’s no way I’m giving them up.
It’s a balancing act. There’s no way that I can go back to being worn out the way I was, and there’s not enough time in my busy day that I can take long baths every night, and read entire books in a day. Somewhere between the two is where I live. On days life is busy, I will skip my 5 minutes, but by the end of the day I can tell I skipped it. I can feel that I gave and gave all day and didn’t receive anything from myself.
This Holiday Season
For the rest of the year, because this time of year is the busiest for most of us, I encourage you to really devote some time to doing things for yourself. Take 5 minutes a day to do something your heart is saying you need. If you need ideas for self care I have a list here.
If you’re looking to take a bigger role in Self Care, I encourage you to check out my ebook journal, The Self Care Journey. Where I encourage and guide you through 30 days of self care. During the 30 days, I don’t tell you what to do and when, I encourage you, and cheer you on as you do what your heart needs to feel renewed. You can get the book here for just $9.99!
I wanted to also announce the start of my Virtual Assistant services. I am now offering my expertise as a social media manager to the public. If you or someone you know has a small business in need of a social media manager you can read more about it here and you can like my VA facebook page here.