The Struggle to Find Fulfillment Outside of Motherhood
I love being a stay at home mom, it is everything I could have hoped for and more. That being said, I need more from my life than being a mom. It’s okay if you need more than motherhood to feel fulfilled. Feeling unfulfilled as a mother isn’t uncommon, you just need to figure out how to balance motherhood and the thing that fulfills you.
We are inundated with images of the ideal mom. Her house is immaculate, her kids are perfectly dressed as they go on adventures daily & she never loses her mind. That June Cleaver ideal might work for some women, but not all of us can handle that. I’m one of the women who can’t handle that.
So, you’re not June Cleaver?
I need something more than being a mom and housewife to make me feel fulfilled. I need projects to work on, something to work towards, and something to make me feel like I accomplished something with my time.
For me, that sense of accomplishment doesn’t come from having clean floors or a clean kitchen. It doesn’t come from play dates or learning activities for me either. While I love having a clean home, what I need requires more of myself.
In order for me to feel truly fulfilled I need to be working on something. This is greatly filled by writing, blogging and by Virtual Assisting. It’s the best of both worlds. I can give little miss a project and sit down with my laptop and start working.
I’m working on goals and projects for myself, that help me grow and use the skills I have in a productive way. I couldn’t sit and let the skills and knowledge I have
When I finally decided that I needed to do something for myself. I had tried working part time out of the home, but it wasn’t for me. It was so hard to be working every evening, finding childcare for the overlap between when I went to work and my husband would get home. It was a mess. It just didn’t work for us at that point.
I needed something, some outlet. This led me on a long Pinterest search, which ended up pointing me to blogging. For me, this was perfect! I could use all those skills from being a social & digital media manager to build something of my own. Something I could potentially make money doing.
Building this blog and my social communities on Facebook, Pinterest & Instagram have brought me focus, passion, and so much fulfillment. I am using and building up those skills I used in the workplace.
When I wanted
Find and feed
It took me time to find exactly what I wanted to do, but starting this blog was seriously the best thing I have done. It is my passion, my creative outlet, and a way to bring more productivity to my days. Each day I work on something and each day I feel like something has been accomplished.
For you, feeding you passion might come from volunteering, working outside the home, starting a business, running a MLM business, or crafting. It honestly doesn’t matter where your passions lie, as long as you chase them, nurture them and feed that part of your soul.
When I take a break I feel like I’m being lazy. A part of me is missing because I’m not feeding that part of myself.
No matter what your passion is- crafting, sewing, baking, painting, writing, etc., feed it! Give yourself the time and pleasure of doing something beyond motherhood. It doesn’t have to take away from you family time, or teaching/ playing with your children. Do it on top of, for your betterment and sanity.
It goes beyond self-care for me. While it is self-care, this is about keeping my sanity and being a whole person. Feeling as if what I’m doing matters and gives me a sense of purpose.
Not losing who I am as a mom
There’s such pressure to be a ‘perfect’ mom. There’s pressure to stay at home and pressure to work & contribute to your family. It goes both directions, and neither option is perfect for everyone.
If you’re a working mom, you’re amazing! If you’re a stay at home mom, you’re fabulous! If you work from home, you’re marvelous. Every option involves sacrifices, it’s choosing the one that works best for you. If you feel most fulfilled working, staying at home, or working from home, do what YOU need to be doing for yourself.
I have seen a lot of posts on Facebook lately talking about this very thing, keeping your interests alive outside of motherhood. To not get so consumed by motherhood that you lose your identity. This brings up a fabulous point.
Our children will grow up and not need us anymore, we can’t wait until that point to start our interests back up. Keep your interest going throughout motherhood, even in the difficult moments. Work to keep that spark inside yourself going.
You can change your interests as you grow. You can try new things, in fact, we should always try new things. The most important part is that you keep doing things that fill your soul, that light a fire to your heart, and that keep your passions alive. You are more than mom, and that’s perfect!