5 Ways to Find More Me Time as a Mom
As a mom, finding time away from the kids, housework, errands, and day to day struggles to take a little me time can be incredibly difficult. You are always busy doing everything, but when do you take time for yourself? For your hobbies or interests? If you find yourself completely worn out, feeling like all you do is give to everyone, and like you lost your identity as a mother, this list is for you.
If you can identify as a mom who has lost herself in motherhood and completely worn out, you need to find more me
There is such pressure we put on ourselves to be the perfect mother, wife, friend, and mother, yet we rarely take the time to focus on what we need most. We let our identity become “Sally’s Mom” or “Jacob’s Mom” which leaves us without our individual identity.
Now, you might be saying, “I love being Sally’s Mom, I wouldn’t want anything less!” I get it, I do, but as out children grow and become more independent, we will need to have our own identity beyond our children. We cannot get so wrapped up in everything they do that we don’t remember who we are.
You need to take the time to really remember who you are, what you enjoy doing and be yourself. Your hobbies might have changed since before you had babies. That’s fine.
You just need to find something, or many things, that fulfill you.
These are the things that bring joy to your heart. I have written many posts about self-care, with ideas, tips, tricks and more. When you find the things your soul is craving, that you really want to do, you need to figure out when you will be able to do
So, how do you fit it in?
First, you stop lying to yourself that you’re “too busy.” When you decide that you need this for yourself you’re going to find the time to do it. You absolutely have the time for yourself, you just need to make it your top priority & stop lying to yourself.
What are the things that helped me find the time? These are the things that have really changed my outlook and ability to get more self care in.
This one is my newest strategy. In fact, I’m a whopping 8 days into this and I can say with great excitement that this one helps! I have set my day up into blocks that make sense for my life.
I blog during a certain block, I do VA work in a certain block, I workout in one, I clean in one. What this does is keep me organized. Now I can’t get lost on Facebook/ Pinterest for 3 hours while other things slide.
I have alarms set on my phone to remind me when my block is coming to a close, and for when my next block starts. What I don’t get done will sit until the next time it is scheduled. I am completely (or as completely as I can be with a toddler running around) focused on one thing until its completion or when the timer goes off.
So how are my days structured now?
From 6:30am to 8am
This is our wake up time. We get my hubby out the door, eat breakfast, play, workout, and relax together. I’m not a morning person and I know that I require a good 30 minutes of waking up before anything can be done. I need light brain activity during this time. Nothing that requires too much, because I’m in a fog.
Once that time is over, it’s time to work out and play with my daughter. I’m completely focused on her for this time. Minimal phone during this time.
From 9am to 12am
This is my work time. I write my blog posts, do VA work, and do all of the behind the scenes stuff that makes my blog’s social media run. I make sure Little Miss has a movie on, snacks, drinks and she can play independently during this time.
12 to 2pm
This is our
Somewhere between 1-2 it’s time for Little Miss to nap or relax. TV is off, tablet is off. It is quiet time. For me, this means I can finish up what i’m cleaning, or take some time for myself.
2pm to 5:30
This time is what I really consider to be nap/ quiet time. Little Miss will have her couple hours of quiet, which means I get peace and quiet as well.
During this time I finish any blogging I didn’t get done earlier, take a nap myself if I really need it, do some cleaning, and this is where I really make sure I get my self care in. If I didn’t do it during the lunch block, this is when it needs to be done. No excuses!
5:30 to 8pm
This is family time. Dinner, bath, being a family, and a final clean up from the day. At
8pm to 11pm
This time is our couple time. We can watch tv shows we can’t watch with Little Miss up. We are able to talk, play a game, or do whatever we want during this time. Usually somewhere between 9-11 my husband will be ready for bed.
Once he heads to bed I take the rest of my time for doing things for myself. I will blog if something needs finished yet, read, do some more self-care, or watch a movie by myself. This time is about me. If something needs a quick clean yet, I might do it here, but NO PROJECTS. I know if I get into a project this late I will be up half the night.
At or before 11, I’m in bed, phone down, going to sleep so I can do it all over again tomorrow.
Believe you are worth it
If you’ve found your way here, you already know you need more self-care. You are craving some ‘me time’ and you’re trying to figure out the best way to do it. You are going to have to start with believing you’re worth the time and effort.
I don’t mean like a shoulder shrug “I believe” like you’re a teenager. I mean in the depths of your soul belief. If you’re not there yet, it’s ok, just fake it until you make it, but keep telling yourself you believe deep down you deserve that time.
Don’t forget this. EVER.
You DESERVE this time because in order to be the best mom/ wife/ friend/ woman/ human, you NEED to take care of yourself too.
Be a good friend to yourself.
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I recently have begun reading Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. It’s possible you’ve heard about this book or have even read it. If you’re clueless about what i’m talking about, trust me, go buy a copy. You won’t regret it.
If you had a friend who constantly cancelled on you, never kept her word, and wasn’t reliable, would you keep her as a friend? or would you distance yourself?
One part in particular has stuck like glue in my mind. I won’t give her whole message away or anything, but she talks about how we are horrible friends to ourselves. When we set a ‘date’ with our self to get our hair done, have some self-care, exercise, start a diet, you name it, we don’t hesitate to break it.
I think most of us would put some distance there, so why do we treat ourselves like that horrible friend? Go read the book… She is amazing.
Prioritize your needs
When I hit my time block to get self-care in, I already know what I’m going to do. I’ve thought about it probably since last night. If I’m torn between what to do, I make it easy by picking the one I need most, or want most.
I don’t waste time thinking about this though. I make a quick decision and get started. I’m not wasting time in my day trying to decide what I want to do. I also have a list of my favorite things to do so when I’m lost I can look at the list and pick one that grabs my attention first.
I definitely suggest you make a physical list of things you want to do. Put this list inside the linen closet or behind the mirror of your bathroom vanity. Somewhere that doesn’t look cluttered of course, but that you can easily see it when you are ready to get started.
My list is on the inside of my linen closet door. I just open the door choose what I want to do, and all my face masks, makeup, lotions, nail polish, etc is right there.
Find your tribe
Girlfriends make life easier. Whether you’re looking online or in real life, find your friends. These women are there to lift you up when you need it most.
If they’re friends in the same town you have an added benefit. You can trade babysitting with each other. When you need a sitter for a quick trip to the store alone, a haircut, or to just have an empty house for a couple hours, you can take your little one to your friends and know they’re in good hands. Then, when your friend needs the same, you can take her kids for her.
Just get started
I want to leave you with the motivation to just get started. No matter if you’re scheduling spa visits or wanting 5 minutes to put on some quick makeup, get started today!
ou deserve this time! You need this. This is a date you will be making to yourself from today on, and you’re going to be a good friend to yourself by not breaking the date continually.
How are you getting started?