Don’t take advice from these 5 moms
Recently, my baby sister became a first time momma! YAY! Is there anything better than a new baby? Ok, so mayyyyybbbbeeeeeee it has caused a small amount of baby fever, hahaha. but seeing some of the advice my sister has gotten from people who are trying to help from a good place, but really, it has just shown that there are certain mom’s you really need to ignore advice when they give it. While it may be coming from a place of love, or wanting to help the best way they know how sometimes it is best to ignore the advice from these moms.
Moms who haven’t had kids in 30 years
Look, I love my grandma’s, and most grandmas are more than willing to give advice from when their babies were little. They are there to give you help however you need it, but if their children are parents, then the advice should be taken with an entire ocean of salt.
What happened just recently, was my sister made a facebook post about her baby spitting up bad, and she had all kinds of comments that came from a good-hearted place, but the advice was just terrible. There were comments to mix whole milk with baby cereal, and other things, which might be okay for a toddler who is on milk, but we are talking about a baby that is still a newborn. These comments came from several ‘older’ women, who said it was what they did with their babies, but the advancement in medicine over the past 20 years is enough to keep it from being sound advice.
There are other, better ways of helping when you don’t have any sound advice that is medically acceptable in 2018. Unless you’re a hip glamma, raising small children right now, you really shouldn’t give advice.
Moms you don’t know – The Sanctimommy’s
This one is quite easy to dismiss, the sanctimommy’s who feel the need to criticise every single thing you do because it isn’t the way they think it should be done. Unless there’s something urgently glaring as a hazard, their opinion should have no bearing on the way you raise your child. There’s not a manual for being a mother, but that doesn’t stop the sanctimommy from speaking up and telling you everything you’re doing wrong as a mother.
This is the mom who has an opinion about everything, and their advice is critical even though they say it comes from a loving place.
Moms who tell you things that go against pediatrician’s orders
This isn’t one of the things my sister was told, but I was sure told some crazy things I should be doing. When I said them to my daughter’s pediatrician as a possibility he just said no way. The pediatrician we have is great, and he offered other solutions for the same problems. I followed the guidance of the pediatrician and everything he offered that I tried worked perfectly.
The mom you wouldn’t trust to parent a pet rock
You know the ones, they’re the ones who make you roll your eyes weekly (at least), their kids run wild everywhere you go, and all you can think is that the influence of their kids on yours would set you back years of discipline. We all know that mom. She is full of opinions on the best techniques, but if she used it you don’t want anything to do with it because her children are so unruly or disrespectful. There’s always that mom, and you can just ignore anything she tells you.
The mom who’s parenting or values go against your own
This mom is probably coming from a very good place, but let’s face it, we sometimes just have different parenting styles or values that we hold dear. She gets credit for trying to help and possibly giving valid advice, even if it isn’t practical for you. Here I’m talking about the mom who might be suggesting cry it out, or spanking, or attachment parenting, or even co-sleeping. All of these things seem to have parents either adamantly for or against them, and while it just comes down to parenting style, you might just have to ignore some of her suggestions.
The mom’s you should listen to
While there are moms who are going to pipe up with their horrible or judgemental advice, there are moms who are there to help you 100%. They will tell you 10 ways to help your newborn get rid of gas. They will help you to cope with the difficult parts of motherhood. When you find your mom tribe, you’ll know. These are the mom’s who have been there, but also the moms who get you. They just know how to help.
Sure, they might randomly fall into the last category, but it doesn’t happen often, and when it does you just thank her and move along. You know that she is speaking from recent experience and knows what you value as a mother. You might find these women are the ones you’ve been friends with all along, or you might find them along your journey. Finding your tribe is key.